I can't be myself

I haven't written about my thoughts in a while and I've been in a tough mindset for a long time.... I've always been that person who tries to fix things, whether it's an eyeshadow that has been smashed, a friendship that needs resolving and a relationship that is falling apart...

Growing up, you're constantly having things thrown at you. Being thrown challenges and obstacles that are supposed to make you who you are. For me, still being in that process, I'm trying to understand why those challenges are more like punishments. Punishments for things I've never done. This results in hardship, loosing trust and hiding.

No matter what your personality is like, there's always something or someone that has to get in the way of that. 

It's hard in today's society to be true to who we are because we believe we are getting judged. In some cases, that can be true and it sucks... Some of us tend to change or act different around people because we feel left out. - You can't say that you haven't said you liked something for the sake of a friendship.

In my case, I feel like I'm trying to fit in and be happy all the time when I'm really not being myself and hiding away from my problems. I guess that's all apart of teen-hood and finding out who you are.What I don't understand is why I can't be myself around the ones I love. It seems like lost trust to me. - Why do I have to hide who I am in front of people? The truth is, I can't be myself.... I'm still working on finding out who I am as a person and dealing with the hurdles in life make it a lot harder. One being, 'friends' who aren't encouraging, supportive and/or motivating. I want to be happy, but that can't happen if I'm pretending to be.

True happiness comes from within and who you surround yourself with.

I've learnt that if you feel 'awkward' or 'different' around your 'friends', it's time to move on and be around people who make you laugh and care about you. People who will ask you how your day was and are there for you when you need it. Someone who will understand the situation you're in and having that bond that will make you happier and a better person.

Moral: Don't let anyone make you feel unhappy. Remove the negative, think positive and be yourself. You'll find someone who will love and care about you, for YOU!

Time is limited, don't waste it.

Xo