October 22, 2015


It's currently October 1st at 10:24am (not anymore). I'm flicking through a bunch of old drafts that I wrote when I was feeling like crap. I came across one called "greatest fear" and remembered a while ago now, when I wrote that post, I was really emotionally unstable - in a way that I looked at the world, myself and the people around me in outrage. I'd have days where I'd be on an emotional high then that would change into a low. At school, I'd have moments where I didn't speak to anyone. I'd seem like I had PMS every single day. I think it was trapped thoughts inside of me.

One of my fears in life is to be hated on by another person. That sounds stupid but I am still trying to accept the fact that people I meet in life may not like me and that's okay. In life you're going to meet people that will hurt you, dislike you and just make you feel down; however, it is important to take a step back, re-evaluate the situation and think "is this really worth my time". Many people in my life have constantly reminded me to not waste my time on people who make me feel less worthy than what I am. People who make you feel uncomfortable or uneasy are people who you don't want to be around. A reason being; the thoughts you feel around the person are not going to make you feel better about yourself which results in low self-esteem - consequently having a strong impact on the way you think/feel about things.

This was all I wrote in that post. I had to read it a few times to understand the underlying meaning of what I truly meant. It seemed like a reminder to myself that fear causes us to see the world differently and it's about trying to overcome it.

Have I overcome my fear of being hated by another individual? - to this day, I think I've started to find it more accepting in the sense that IT'S OKAY and not everyone has to like me. Although, it's more about being who you are, being kind, compassionate and humble. In life people come and go. You learn so much and discover the right people for you - people who will help you become a better version of yourself. I can't explain how many times I complained to the people that love me about wanting to find someone that will accept me and care for me. I realised that these people are right in front of me. I was caught up in this idea that every individual has to be 100% supportive and kind towards me. In life that isn't the case.

It's now October 22nd at 9:15am, I'm currently in class and that's all had to say.


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