October 06, 2016

be selfish.

"we are taught to be kind to others, but no one has ever told us that we should be kind to ourselves" 

Is being 'too' nice a good thing? - I mean, it is vital to be nice in this world but I feel like being 'too' nice is bait to getting your heart ripped out of your chest - well for me at least. This may sound insensitive but the one thing I have learnt after 17 years on this earth, is that you have to be selfish at times. The word selfish has such a huge negative connotation to it. If being selfish means stopping one's heart from being broken then sign me up! 

In this world the idea of treating people the way you want to be treated is complete bullshit. In all my experiences I try my best to be kind and caring to others. I go out of my way to make time for people and I feel like I don't get the same love in return. People come and go in and out of your life and there is no point in holding on to someone so tight if you know they are going to leave you. Don't get me wrong, it is nice to be nice. I think being kind is one of the best qualities a person can have. However, I feel that constantly going out of my way to please other people is not worth it. - sure I am being nice to others, but I am not being nice to myself. I think self love and care is so important. If we are not happy within ourselves, how can we love and care for other people. Think of Maslow's hierarchy of needs; it demonstrates the notion that one cannot achieve peace if they have no self-esteem and self-confidence. Self-esteem and self-confidence is driven from the degree to which one cares for themselves. 

As egotistical as this may sound, I think putting yourself first is a good thing. I feel this way because it is not enjoyable giving all your love and care to another person and then getting your heart broken. It is not enjoyable making time for someone and for them to cancel on you to be with someone else. It is not enjoyable watching the person you spent so much time caring for having the time of their life with someone else. None of this is fun and unfortunately, it is all apart of life. I think this is because we all have different hearts and minds and the way we empathise with others differs. 

Do you feel this way or am I going mad?! I don't know if this post made any sense but I needed to wrap my head around things. I feel like in this world you need to be selfish - to an extent of course. For example; you can simply leave that text message on read for a few hours whilst you go and do something that makes YOU happy. I am so sick of being kind to people who don't give a shit about me. It is just not worth it.

Love always,
Sara xo

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