Sunday, 26 February 2017

One Sided Relationships

There is nothing worse than being in a one sided relationship - where you put all your energy into the other person but receive nothing back. If we view this from an analogical perspective, it is kind of like driving into a road that turned out to be a prolonged one-way street. You have no sense of direction because you a blinded by the fact that you were drawn in or that you committed yourself into a situation that you are afraid to escape because you do not want to hurt another or you have hope that something will change. In this street there are no traffic lights, so you there are no signals or warnings that tell you that the road is coming to an end. No yellow lights telling you to stop giving in, no flashing red lights telling you to stop moving forward, rather your mind sees green as you continue down this path. You continue to drive not knowing what to expect up ahead, although you reach a dead end and realise something went wrong. That is being in a one sided relationship.

This does not particularly apply to a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, rather a friendship. This issue occurs on a daily basis. Many, including myself, stay in these types of relationships due to many factors. One including constantly putting time and energy into the happiness of the other individual and forgetting the needs of your own. - Forgetting that the other person is not putting their time and energy into you. For a relationship to be effective, BOTH parties must fully commit themselves. If there is only one individual putting in all their time and energy for the other, it will only lead to bad days and heart aches because you are made to feel worthless, disheartened and like all your dedication to that individual was put to waste.

As being in this situation is difficult, it is important to know that you are allowed to be angry and to be sad.  It is okay to feel like it is your fault, even though you know it is not. - it sucks. One of the hardest things to do in these relationships is getting out of them. In my experience, an utterly spectacular event in the most horrible way had to occur for me to realise what was going on.  I slowly distant myself from the other individual/s. The more I drifted away the more I realised how exhausted I felt and how unhappy I was. I hated myself for a very long time for committing myself to these friendships. I picked out every good thing about the person and in my mind, that overpowered the negativity. However, now I realise that all of this happened for a reason and I do not regret any of it. Things happen in life that are going to tear you to shreds, pick out every nerve in your body and make you question the decisions you make. It all happens so we can learn and grow as individuals. 

If you are in this type of relationship, you can get out of it. There is always a way even if you are afraid that you might hurt the other being. If you truly feel personally victimised by this, then realise your worth, understand that you cannot be truly happy if you are in this. If this is happening to you, I get it. I understand. Sometimes it takes finally reaching a dead end to realise that you should not have done something or that you should not have made the turn. Eventually you will be back on the main road. 

Love always,
Sara xo

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