How do I be there for a friend and be there for myself at the same time?
My whole life has been listening to other people's problems and doing everything I can to help them get through. I must say, it is a great quality to have; However sometimes if we put all our time and energy into one person, we forget about ourselves.
One of the most important things I have learnt over the years is that you can only do so much to help a person. You can give the most amazing advice in the world but most of the time, people only listen to themselves and what they believe in their heart. - Even if it takes them a very long time to realise. For me particularly, I get so invested into my friends lives, where if they talk to me about a problem they're facing, I immediately make it my own and keep myself up at night to figure out ways to help them. I do not think this is a complete bad thing as it is important in every friendship or relationship to support each other. However, in my experiences at least, I find that acting this way can truly break you. I find the more and more I involve myself, more and more negative energy builds up within me and my mind becomes a blur. I feel listening to people's problems almost triggers me in a way that makes me release my frustrations out on other people. It is quite overwhelming.
This is why over the last few years I have really focused on myself, as I am a true believer that you need to help your self first in order to help other people.
The mind and heart are powerful, It is so strange to me that after years of worrying about other people, that now my mind sends me a signal, reminding me of the importance of taking care of myself, loving myself and being there for myself.