July 23, 2017

Cutting People Out & Moving On

Over the last few days, I have realised that I have dealt with the absolute worst when it comes to friendships. I feel like when I cut someone out of my life and find someone new, it is becomes a repetitive cycle of dealing with the same emotions over and over again. Sometimes I feel like I am the problem because I cannot comprehend why I keep experiencing this. 

One of the most difficult things I have experienced is thinking that you are someones friend but it turns out their not. You start to notice that you were punching bag, a shoulder to cry on and eventually thrown to the side. It sucks and I have dealt with this over the last five years of my life - even longer. It is evident that friends come in and out of your life and it is not always guaranteed that you will have the same friends throughout each stage of your lifespan. However, when you experience a fault in your relationships, at the time it can feel like the utmost horrendous thing that can ever happen to you. You think about it all the time, how you are all alone and you will never be happy again. But then people come into your life when you least expect it and make you feel something again. If you are unlucky, you could experience the same thing that happened with your previous friendship all over again and feel like you are back on that cycle. Welcome to the story of my life. 

Your own happiness is critical. Your emotions are primarily determined by the people who you are around which is why you should not dwell on those you make you unhappy. This leads us to the question I have been struggling with for most of my adolescent years, "how do I cut someone out of my life?" This question is something I ask myself on the regular basis because people always say, "if someone is making you unhappy then remove them from your life." They make it sound so easy but it is not. What makes it so hard is that when you see someone five days a week for many years, you cannot avoid them because their energy floats around and you are reminded about how awful they made you feel. 

From what I have learnt and experienced, in order to remove someone from your life, it is best to cut ties by deleting them from your social media accounts, removing their phone number and deleting old photos (even if you look cute). You will often go through a withdrawal stage where you reminisce on all the memories you shared and this is completely normal. It is important at this stage that you let yourself be upset, whilst still remembering why you had to cut them out in the first place. - This is called self reflection and is something that I do in order to make sense of the thoughts in my mind. In order to move on, it is important that you look at that relationship as a chapter in your life that is finally coming to an end so you can progress and make new memories. Be sure to surround yourself with positive people that make you feel good about yourself and support you. - I struggled with this for a very long time and often these types of special people show up when you least expect it. In the mean time, please focus and take care of yourself. It is so crucial that you let yourself recover. After all, we are humans and broken hearts need time to heal.

We are all growing up, figuring out who we are and where we belong. It is hard to disband from previous connections we share with someone. You always need to remember that time heals everything. 

Love Always,
Sara xo.

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