No one truly knows how to advise someone to mend their broken heart because it depends on the individual. One can take into consideration the words of another, however that may not be the cure. In my case, it took about a year and a half; a year and a half of people screaming at me to 'get over it' or 'move on'. A year and a half of anxieties, sadness and feeling isolated. It felt like it never ended...
As cliche as this may sound, one of the most important things to do is to talk to someone. How will you ever understand the situation if you cannot put it into words. I spoke to many friends, family members and a coach. This was the hardest thing to do because I felt so embarrassed, ashamed and like I had a problem. It got to a point where I pushed everyone away and just accepted feeling so lost. Talking to someone truly works; if not using verbal communication, try writing. Writing blog posts helped me very much with making sense of the problem. Expressing how you feel can lift a weight of your shoulder. You can simply write it out on paper.
Distracting yourself is not always the best thing to do. However, sometimes it is good to take your mind off the painful emotions. In my situation, I watched a lot of youtube videos, movies and TV shows. I got lost in books and music (James Bay came into my life at this time of need). There are so many ways to keep 'busy'. Although, it is important to cry it out once in a while because the worst thing to do is let your feelings bottle up inside of you. Taking time out for yourself is key! it can be quite difficult going from having someone around you all the time to being all alone. Pamper sessions, movie nights and baking is a great start.
Accepting the problem/situation is something that may take a while for some...Having positive thoughts and believing in yourself can help. I've learnt that it is important to constantly check in on yourself and know where you are. Everyday it does get a little easier. - I remember hearing someone say this and I did not believe them one bit. When someone feels down, it can be difficult to believe that. It's almost like being on never ending rollercoaster, screaming for help but no one hears you.
Heartbreak does suck. To be honest, I don't think I have overcome this battle - it is still something I think about every now and then, but I am working on it. Always remember that time heals everything and everything heals in time. Don't hate yourself for feeling like this, It is a painful human emotion that does take a lot of effort to deal with. Just know that you are not alone!
Love always,
Sara
